What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

Put me off passion for life!!

I was scared of men, in general

What was your wildest experience as a lesbian?

My family never makes their pension either.

I was very sick at this time too.

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

Man charged in shooting outside Wayzata High School graduation - kare11.com

All the time i was locked up.

It was going to be , some day.

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

Change Your Gmail Password Now, Google Tells 2 Billion Users - Forbes

Why did i forgive my father ?

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

Justin Bieber talks 'anger issues,' says he's 'broken' in emotional Instagram post - ABC News

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

So, i spoilt her more .

Which movies have the best endings?

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

Trump is forcing this dirty, costly coal plant to stay open - The Washington Post

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

I had hoped to write a book about this .

But it wasn’t much.

Can an infrared sauna blanket assist in weight loss along with detoxification?

This is how, and why children get BPD.

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

I write beautiful poetry .

Free agent CB Rasul Douglas doesn’t think he’ll return to Green Bay - NBC Sports

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

WWDC 2025: What to Expect From macOS 26 Tahoe - MacRumors

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

As i do to all so called friends.?

What did i know ?

Netanyahu says ‘we’ll do what we need to do’ with Iran’s leader - Financial Times

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

He resisted the act ,that day.

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

Is it possible to earn money by writing and self-publishing a Light novel on Amazon Kindle?

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

I don,t even have a pension.

The only rule us 5 kids had .

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

This is soul school!.

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

She married twice! .

Where the ultimate outsiders.

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

She was in good health!

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

And who doesn’t know suffering?

Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

I have no regrets .

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

I was 9 years of age.

My mum and dad in the seventies!

I was seconnd youngest,

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

Comes on , in middle age.

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

I know ,a lot about trauma.

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

I waited trembling.

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

He knew the spot.

On the 31st of Jan this month .

I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

I said to her

When she asked me how she looked .

One cannot live in the past .

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

But, we were locked up after school.

They are buried together, in the same grave..

I never cut or harmed myself..

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

I think the readers, may guess!

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

My life is so biszare .

Im still living with it.

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

Who then, do I blame.?

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

I could never make a relationship work though!

But ive been too sick for many years..

Was to survive, this bastard.

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

(And it was in our own minds.)

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

Ive learnt so much.

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

We were not on the streets..

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

Would this be the day?

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

I did it because my mum asked me too!

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

And i lived it daily.

I couldn’t, believe it.

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

Especially a lifetime of it.

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

He was dying to do it , i knew.

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

She loved him until the end.

She found it foreign!.

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

She wouldn,t have been !

Im dying but, im not bitter.

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

We all went to grammer schools

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

I will be 64.

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

So whats the point in blame.

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!